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If you’re looking to dip your toe into the world of sex parties but don't know where to start, an expert has shared her advice.
Alice Bizarre, a makeup artist from South Wales, used to work as a waitress, performer and makeup artist as well as a variety of other roles at these exclusive events.
Now the 30-year-old has lifted the lid on how exactly they work.
READ MORE: Former sex party worker on wildest things she's witnessed – from orgies to caged beds
Alice exclusively told Daily Star that these occasions are a place to be “unapologetically yourself”.
“These are events and places that are strictly over 18/21 due to the sexual activity and nudity within them,” she explained.
“Fetish parties are usually larger public nightclubs that have loud music, performers, bands and spicy dress codes, with the liberation to openly hook up anywhere, which usually includes dungeon-style areas for people to get more X-rated.
“Swingers clubs are membership and ticket events predominantly about sex; whether you chose to get involved or stick to the sides talking and watching.
“This can include simply hooking up with your own partner or new people, couple swapping, threesomes, moresomes, full orgies, exploring fetish and BDSM, some people go to watch, be watched or take advantage of the facilities and some just go purely for open adult conversation and atmosphere.”
Private parties are usually more exclusive or cater for specific fetishes.
Adult spas and saunas are all about sex and nudity in a spa or bar environment but should never be mistaken for genuine naturist spas which are safe spaces for naturists and do not allow any sexual activity.
Alice says that whichever kind of event you decide to go to, these are all places you can be open about your sexuality, kinks and interests without worrying about judgement.
There are a variety of rooms put in place to ensure the safety of all of those in attendance at these kinds of events.
One of the most important rules is that there be no cameras or phones to protect people’s privacy.
“Some more private parties will even include NDA contracts! No drugs or illegal activity, if you are drunk, you are out,” Alice explained.
“Events with BDSM equipment or dungeon areas will always have a monitor, supervisor or mistress who makes sure people are using everything safely. Every single event will allow you to change when you arrive, helping with privacy and safety outside the club.
“Clubs will often ask you for one or two forms of ID There is always security and systems in place to help anyone who feels uncomfortable or unsafe at any time.”
It should go without saying but there is no touching allowed without consent.
Alice told us that consent is of the utmost importance at sex parties and swinger events.
“We always recommend everyone practices safe sex and to try and bring your own condoms and lube when you can,” she said.
“This is all very strict so it isn’t often problems arise, I have had far more consent problems fully clothed at regular nightclubs than I have being almost naked at a fetish club.”
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The 30-year-old said that the main misconception people have about these events is that you have to have sex if you attend.
This isn’t the case – as some people simply like to sit and take it all in.
“You never have to get involved if you don’t want to and people should never expect to get sex at an event just because they purchased a ticket to go,” she said.
“Many assume orgies happen a lot but it’s less common than you think!
“Lots of people assume that people don’t use protection and parties are an STI waiting to happen when in fact the opposite is true. Club goers tend to be the most sexually aware people you will ever meet with regular check-ups and condoms on hand.”
Alice also wants to help get rid of the idea that swinging events is like what we’re used to seeing in movies.
They’re not full of straight couples swapping partners by putting their car keys in a bowl.
She said: “With people of all sexualities and gender identities, ‘swinging’ is a broader term these days with things like threesomes, single people looking to be open sexually, couple swapping with also couples being exclusive to each other.
"The atmosphere and watching can be the biggest turn-on for some.
“The idea that you ‘have to be into sex to go’ isn’t true. A good example is some people that attend who aren’t into sex go to enjoy the sensory aspects of bondage.
“But the [misconception] I hear most is that clubs and events are only for young skinny/fit beautiful people which is total b*llocks. One person’s yuck is another person’s yum.
“Like any party, you will get a huge range of people, ages and body types. Be confident, dress yourself up and have fun!”
If you’re considering attending an event like this yourself but are worried about whether your own sexual proclivities align, you need not worry.
Alice says you don’t have to be into anything “extreme” to go to an event.
“They aren’t for everyone and that is completely fine, the most important thing is that you are happy and comfortable in your own sexuality and interests,” she said.
“It is a safe space so make sure you have clear boundaries and don’t laugh at, disrespect or kink shame others; miscommunication can ruin a night – and sometimes a relationship.
“These events and parties are all about experiencing new things, whether that is your first threesome, learning how to tie someone up safely, exploring your sexuality in an anonymous setting or just the act of going to an event itself.
“If you decide to go for the first time, let the staff and organisers know. They can show you around, give advice and help settle those nerves! Go at your own pace, and don’t take yourself too seriously, it should be a liberating and fun experience.”
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