DEAR DEIDRE: I DESPERATELY want to end my marriage as I no longer love my wife – but we have a daughter with a disability.
Even though I’m miserable, I feel I need to be here for her.
I’m 36 and my wife is 34. Our daughter is five.
The relationship has become stale and taken a back seat while we help our little girl.
She has appointments, consultations and physio, although my wife bears the brunt of most of it.
I admire her as a mum, but there’s just no spark between us, and I don’t get excited by the thought of seeing or being with her any more.
We rarely have sex because she doesn’t turn me on.
If I left, it would destroy my daughter.
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Her needs will always come first, even at the cost of my own personal happiness.
But is this the right thing?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Having children can put a strain on most relationships.
But when you have a disabled child, that pressure can sometimes feel greater.
Sex is an important part of a relationship but it’s hard to switch from being a mum to being a lover.
Before you give up on your marriage, try to spend some time with just the two of you.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
Gabby is feeling lonely since her sister Michelle moved out
I can’t be with my partner until her homophobic mum dies
Explain to your wife how much you miss the physical intimacy you shared, and work together to save your sex life.
You may be able to access respite care. Find support via Contact, which helps families with disabled children (contact.org.uk, 0808 808 3555).
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