I’m bonking the boss and no one likes me for it.
Colleagues have accused me of spying on them and reporting back private conversations to management. I’m being ostracised and it’s not fair.
There are redundancies planned for 2023 and my colleagues think I’m playing a game.
READ MORE: 'My wife made a sex tape with my best friend then kicked me out of the house'
But I’m not that clever. My boss/lover and I care for each other. We have history.
We worked together at another firm years ago. We fell hard during a training week and dated for several months. We even talked about getting engaged, but then her parents forced her to dump me when they found out I hadn’t been to university.
Today she’s a divorced high-flyer. She’s in charge of several departments and I answer directly to her. I’m single too, so it’s not as if we’re cheating or hurting anyone. We meet for sex at her flat or mine and simply love being in each other’s arms. We’re passionate and well matched.
Office affairs aren’t technically banned at our place, but we are very discreet and careful.
But that doesn’t stop colleagues from gossiping and mistrusting and hating me.
During our office Christmas party, one drunk guy came right up to my face and called me a “filthy tart”. Others howled with laughter. How is that fair?
She doesn’t give me any special treatment. If anything I work harder than anyone else because she bounces her ideas and problems off me too.
Why do people have to be so horrible when all we want to do is work hard and love each other?
JANE SAYS: Sex and the workplace don’t mix. There is no accounting for jealousy.
If colleagues suspect (rightly or wrongly) you’re receiving special treatment, resentment is going to build. It’s naïve to expect them to be pleased that you’re sleeping with the woman.
There are choppy waters ahead and everyone is worried about their position and looking out for themselves.
You may believe that you’re being adult and discreet but maybe you’re coming across as superior and smug.
I suspect your worried colleagues would like a lot more fairness and a level playing field in the workplace.
We all know that pushy people have been using sex to climb their way to the top since the beginning of time. You may not wish to admit that you’re using sex to your advantage, but others may think otherwise.
You may be so in love that you’re blind to the fact you’re the teacher’s pet. So aim to be the consummate professional. Do your work, keep your head down and treat colleagues with respect.
Then, once the redundancies have been decided, you and your lover will need to decide where you’re going.
But I can’t honestly imagine that your employers are too impressed by your relationship either…
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