Sienna Miller is pregnant again at 41 and will have an 11-year age gap between her two children, already being mum to daughter Marlowe, ten, with her ex Tom Sturridge.
Like her, I also had children born over a decade apart from one another, and it was certainly a challenging experience, to say the least – here are my top tips for Sienna.
“Listen up Sienna because I've got a tale to tell – a tale of teenage tantrums colliding headfirst with toddler tornadoes. Something you've got to look forward to in the next few years!
Already well-acquainted with the parenting game, with two teenagers, one who is heading to college soon, I thought I had it all figured out. That is until life threw an unexpected curveball, leaving me juggling a teenage duo and a tiny tornado simultaneously. Can you feel the chaos in the air?
But firstly let's rewind to the moment I found out I was pregnant again. Picture a 47-year-old mum-of-two, standing in front of a pregnancy test, eyes wide, jaw dropped, and an expression that could rival a deer caught in headlights.
That was me. It was May 2020, only two months into lockdown, and I was looking at a positive pink line creeping across the test. The only thing I could muster was a bewildered, "Seriously?"
The reason for my shock is that in the two years before I had experienced a missed miscarriage. I never thought I would fall pregnant naturally; especially at the age of 47! Of course, the crowd had opinions, as they often do.
“You're not getting any younger,” friends and family would say, as if I needed a reminder that my biological clock at 47 had already started hitting the snooze button or was even pretty much redundant! And the fact that my partner Perry was 60 created even more of a stir.
But who cares about age when you've got two mini-cheerleaders, Ella, (then 14, and Amalie, then 10) who were absolutely thrilled about the upcoming sibling shenanigans. Their enthusiasm was infectious, and I couldn't help but get on board with their joy; especially when we found out that I was expecting a baby boy.
The pregnancy itself was pretty uneventful until I went down with Covid and pneumonia at the start of January 2021 only a few weeks before I was due to give birth.
A scan showed there was hardly any amniotic fluid around the baby and he hadn't grown in two weeks. My consultant decided that an immediate induction was necessary and I was whisked into hospital.
Then came the birth – a grand spectacle, I must say. Not only did I have to deal with the aftermath of Covid, but I also had to contend with breathing issues that made me sound like Darth Vader's long-lost cousin during labour. I half-expected Perry to ask if I had turned to the Dark Side.
But let's talk about Jude's grand entrance. He decided to take his sweet time, making his debut with all the flair of a diva in the spotlight. "I'm here, darlings! And I demand attention!" I could almost hear him saying.
Things however took an adventurous turn when Jude's dramatic entrance was followed by an encore performance of breathing difficulties. Off to the neonatal ward he went, leaving me with a cocktail of emotions that can only be described as a blend of panic, anxiety, and a dash of "Seriously, universe?"
Yet, amid the chaos, a silver lining emerged. With lockdown keeping us hunkered down at home, I could shower Jude with all the attention he needed. Forget FOMO; I was embracing JOMO – the Joy of Missing Out.
Our bond grew stronger than a gorilla's grip on a vine, and I found myself marvelling at this tiny human who had turned my world upside down, much like a mischievous poltergeist.
As the weeks passed, I realised I was in a parenting rodeo like no other. Ella was heading towards the treacherous terrain of GCSEs and social melodrama, while Jude was embarking on the potty training escapade. It was like watching a sitcom where the characters are all on completely different channels, and I'm the remote control frantically switching between them.
The toy situation was an entirely new level of "fun." Picture this: Amalie's eyes lit up as she had the latest iPhone that promised to change her life, while Jude's eyes lit up at the mere sight of a cardboard box. Ah, the wonders of parenting across the age spectrum!
And let's not even get started on expenses. It's a never-ending rollercoaster of calculators and budgeting apps – one moment you're buying trendy gadgets, the next you're purchasing nappies that are more expensive than your daily coffee.
Oh, and sleep? What is that elusive creature, and why does it seem to avoid my address? It's like trying to catch a mythical Pokémon that only shows up during solar eclipses.
My nights are a medley of lullabies and algebraic equations. Will I ever get a solid eight hours again? The universe remains silent on this matter.
As for parenting strategies, well, let's just say I've had to become a master of multitasking. With two different sets of needs, wants, and mood swings, my approach has turned into a hybrid blend of diplomacy and negotiation. Ella wants the car keys; Jude wants to eat them.
One wants to party until the early hours of the morning, and the other wants an early-morning playdate. My head is spinning.
But you know what? Beneath the chaos, beneath the sleep deprivation, and beneath the simultaneous existence of teenage sass and toddler chaos, a symphony of love plays in the background.
Society might raise its eyebrows, offering unsolicited advice and judgmental glances, but I'm here to tell you that this circus of ages is my kind of circus. It's a jumble of laughter, tears, and a whole lot of "I can't believe I signed up for this."
So, to my fellow parents riding the rollercoaster of teenage-toddler turbulence, I raise my imaginary parenting flag.
Let's revel in the madness, dance through the tantrums, and navigate this carnival of life with a wink, a chuckle, and the understanding that we're all in this together, no matter the age gap.
And if you'll excuse me, I have a teenage eye-roll to address and a toddler masterpiece (created with spaghetti sauce) to admire.
What I would say to you Sienna is… may your coffee be strong and your patience stronger!”
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