My husband is demanding a paternity test for our unborn baby to give him ‘peace of mind’ – he’s never satisfied me in bed, but I’m not a cheater

• A woman has revealed that her partner of six years has asked for a paternity test
• He asked out of the blue and then tried to use her words against her and cried
• READ MORE: My parents stole my college fund to pay for brother’s wedding 

A devastated mother-to-be has revealed her husband has demanded a paternity test out of the blue because he has a ‘right to know’ that the child is definitely his. 

Taking to Reddit, the British woman revealed her husband wants proof that she’s not cheated on him so that he can have ‘peace of mind’.  

Posting on the True Off My Chest forum, the woman admitted that she was so hurt by his request that she told him he ‘sucks in bed’ and she’s been ‘hiding her disappointment’ for the six years they’ve been together. 

Now he wants an apology, but she’s determined to leave and says she’d ‘rather be a single mum than coddling his insecurities one day longer’.

Most people were shocked at her husband’s behaviour and suggested that he might be the one who’s cheated and is trying to cover his tracks by turning the tables on her. 

Taking to Reddit, a pregnant British woman revealed her husband wants proof that he’s the father of her unborn baby so that he can have ‘peace of mind’ (stock image) 

Explaining the situation, the pregnant wife in her early 30s said she’s been with her husband for six years and married for three. 

‘The only thing that has ever irked me was that we were never that compatible in the bedroom department, with me regularly getting the short end of the stick in terms of satisfaction,’ she said. ‘But he is super vanilla and won’t even try to do better for my sake. 

‘I’ve pretty much given up trying because he gets touchy and pouts for literally days whenever I try to talk about it, no matter how sensitive I try to be.

‘After deciding we were ready for a baby we’ve tried for almost a year and I am finally expecting. I’m currently in my fourth month. However yesterday my husband asked me if we could do a paternity test, completely out of the blue.’

At first the woman didn’t believe what she was hearing and was shocked as realisation sunk in that he was ‘dead serious’. 

Posting on the True Off My Chest forum, the woman revealed how she will leave her partner of six years after he randomly asked her for a paternity test 

She continued: ‘As soon as I realised that I immediately felt sick to my stomach. I asked him why he wanted the test and he says he just wants to make sure the baby is his. 

‘I asked him if he’s suspecting me of cheating, he said no. I pointed out that I work full time and spend every single free minute I have with him, so when would I even find the time to cheat, even if I wanted to, which I don’t? 

‘He got angry at me and said I have no idea what it’s like to be the man and have no control over this whole pregnancy situation and that he doesn’t want to be a doormat stuck raising a “cuckoo’s egg” (his words). He claimed he has a right to know for certain. 

‘I admittedly snapped at him that he DOES know for certain, because I told him so, and I would know who the father of my child is, right?! He smugly said that’s what any cheater would say and that he deserves proof so he can have peace of mind.’

She explained she lost her temper with her husband,  and told him he wasn’t satisfying her in bed, saying: ‘If after six years of patience and loyalty despite the fact that you s*ck in bed THIS is the thanks I get, then the only thing I have been hiding is my disappointment in you.’ 

The woman has since gone to stay with her parents and feels like her ‘whole world has collapsed’. 

‘My mum is trying to play mediator and has spoken to him in the meantime,’ she explained. ‘She told me that he is very hurt by my comment and he wants me to apologise for that at the very least as a way of meeting him in the middle. 

‘On the one side, I know what I said was said out of spite and was way below the belt, but on the other hand I feel absolutely justified to have finally said it out loud after tiptoeing around his feelings for years while neglecting my own needs in this relationship. I’m more and more sure I don’t even want to go back. I’d rather be a single mum than coddling his insecurities one day longer.’ 

The post gained a lot of attention and has been viewed 14,000 times, with more than 2,000 people commenting. 

Most people were shocked at her husband’s accusation and further twisting of her words. 

The post gained a lot of attention and has been viewed 14.5k, with over 2k people commenting. Most people were shocked at her husband’s accusation and further twisting of her words. Some people even suggested that he needs therapy 

Some people warned that he could in fact be the one who’s been unfaithful.

‘I was married 18 years to a man like that,’ one said. ‘He was very, very ”vanilla” Out of the blue he started accusing me of cheating …. Turns out he was cheating. I left and it was the best decision for me. ***Caution pregnancy hormones are wild so take the time you need on making long term decisions.’

Another agreed: ‘This is my son’s biological dad in a nutshell. He was constantly accusing me of cheating, and at last count he had cheated on me with nine different women.’

A third however suggested: ‘Ask him for an STD test before he can touch you again. You know, you just want to be sure. From your description, his head would explode. You aren’t accusing him of anything, you just need to be sure he doesn’t have anything. That is basically what he did to you.’

Others suggested ways forward for both of them and many commented that her husband needed professional help to get over his insecurities. One person questioned what her mother was telling him in return

One person said: ‘If all trust is gone, then the relationship is dead anyway.

‘Hope you make a good co-parenting, the baby needs it but it sucks if daddy don’t want to be a part of it, because his insecurities coming in the way. I wish you all the best’

While another remarked: ‘I would agree to give him the paternity test, then have him served the results along with the divorce papers, but I am petty like that.’

Someone else said: ‘He thinks you should apologise for hurting HIS feelings?? What about yours?!

‘I don’t think you should cater to any more of his feelings. It does sound like being a single mom would be less stressful than tiptoeing around his fragile feelings every day.’

Others suggested ways forward for both of them and many commented that her husband needed professional help to get over his insecurities. 

‘This man needs therapy. Now,’ one wrote. ‘Regardless of whether you go back or not. I don’t know what I would do because I don’t know him. I might say I would be willing to try if he would go into therapy himself, and with you as a couple. His insecurities are ruining his life.’

A fellow commenter agreed, saying: ‘You don’t owe him an apology, but if both of you want to salvage the relationship, I think it’s time to have a very honest and open talk about all your resentment over 6 years and this paternity test issue. If he still shuts down and acts like a child, I would leave him. Regardless of how it goes, if you still choose to walk away after, that’s okay.’

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