Would YOU end a friendship this way? Clinical psychologist demonstrates how to BREAK UP with a pal in viral video – but outraged critics insist they’d ‘rather be ghosted’

• Arianna Brandolini, 37, from New York, shared a 33-second video demonstrating ‘how to break up with a friend’ on TikTok this week 
• The Harvard University graduate gave a sample script of what to say while playing both the dumper and the dumpee 
• Brandolini used phrases such as ‘I’ve treasured our season of friendship’ and ‘I don’t have the capacity to invest in our friendship’
• The video was dubbed ‘sociopathic,’ ‘callous,’ and ‘impersonal’ by critics who insisted they’d ‘rather be ghosted’ 

A clinical psychologist has offered a guide for breaking up with a friend, but critics have insisted they’d ‘rather be ghosted’ than confronted in this way. 

Arianna Brandolini, 37, from New York, demonstrated how to end a friendship that has run its course in a 33-second video that was posted on TikTok this week. 

The Harvard University graduate, who uses the handle @answeranxiety, gave a sample script of what to say while playing both the dumper and the dumpee in the imagined scenario. 

‘I’ve noticed you’ve been withdrawn and haven’t wanted to hang out recently. What’s going on?’ she asked while pretending to be the blindsided friend. 

Arianna Brandolini, 37, from New York, shared a 33-second video demonstrating ‘how to break up with a friend’ on TikTok this week

The Harvard University graduate gave a sample script of what to say while playing both the dumper and the dumpee

When Brandolini responded, she cut right to the chase and didn’t mince words. 

‘I’ve treasured our season of friendship, but we’re moving in different directions in life. I don’t have the capacity to invest in our friendship any longer,’ she said. 

The psychologist also offered a suggestion on what to say if the friend in question pushes back and asks, ‘Is it something I did?’  

‘I get that it might be hard to understand, but I’ve been reevaluating many areas of my life recently, including my ability to be a good friend to you,’ Brandolini replied. 

‘I just want to be honest and upfront, so I don’t disappoint your expectations. I’m sorry if this feels painful and confusing. I wish you all love and success.’

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The psychologist also offered a suggestion on what to say if the friend in question pushes back and asks, ‘Is it something I did?’ 

Brandolini used phrases such as ‘I’ve treasured our season of friendship’ and ‘I don’t have the capacity to invest in our friendship’

The video has been viewed more than 313,000 times and has received thousands of comments from viewers, many of whom were appalled by the approach. 

‘I think this is more hurtful than letting it phase out,’ one person wrote, while another added, ‘This feels [ingeniuous], grandiose, uncaring, and preplanned.’

‘I’d rather be ghosted,’ someone else claimed. 

Others insisted that the script sounded too ‘corporate’ and ‘impersonal.’ 

‘Corporate is taking over our personal life’s now,’ one user commented, while another jokingly asked, ‘Does the friend get a severance package and COBRA after?’

The video was later posted on Twitter, where it was also largely criticized. 

The video was dubbed ‘sociopathic,’ ‘callous,’ and ‘impersonal’ by critics who insisted they’d ‘rather be ghosted’

Brandolini shared a follow-up the next day, explaining that she wanted to give more context to her original demonstration. 

‘There is no right or wrong way to end a friendship,’ she said. ‘It is very, very normal that in our life we are going to have different times that we’re going to be closer to certain people than others, and friendships are going to actually kind of die down.’

She noted that there are times when it’s fine to ‘not make as much of an effort’ and let a friendship ‘slowly peter out,’ but that’s not always an option. 

‘We as a culture are very much a ghosting culture where we don’t want to have these hard conversations, and we avoid them,’ she explained. ‘But sometimes it’s actually really warranted.’

Brandolini gave an example of a toxic friendship in which multiple conversations have been had but the person refuses to listen or change.  

Brandolini shared a follow-up the next day, explaining that she wanted to give more context to her original demonstration

‘If you’re breaking up a toxic friendship and you’ve already had these conversations, it can actually be corporate and that’s okay,’ she said. ‘You don’t have to spend a lot of energy explaining yourself’

‘A lot of you are commenting that this is very corporate, and the idea is that if you’re breaking up a toxic friendship and you’ve already had these conversations, it can actually be corporate and that’s okay,’ she said. ‘You don’t have to spend a lot of energy explaining yourself and having the other person understand if you’ve already done that.’

Brandolini offered another lengthy response in the caption, writing, ‘Remember that a 30-second TikTok video can’t capture the entire human experience! We are all beautifully complex. These are simply meant to give you some ideas to make your own.

However, the explanation did little to appease critics, and she turned the comments off to avoid more backlash. 

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