Twenty years ago today, HBO premiered Sex and the City and it's never really left the pop-culture consciousness since. Indeed, there was still talk of a third movie version of the film as late as last year until, well, you know what happened by now… Now, with two co-stars no longer speaking and, more importantly, a third running for Governor of New York, it doesn't seem we'll ever get another installment with the original girls again.
Of course, it's 2018, and Hollywood has a tried and true method for squeezing out more juice from a franchise you would have thought had run it's course but whose audience still can't quite seem to get enough of: a reboot. Though while the original TV series still remains popular on streaming and in reruns, a lot has changed since the show originally premiered. Our sex is different. Our cities are different. Our expectations of TV are certainly different. While we're not entirely sure the idea of a Sex and the City reboot in reality is particularly wise or necessary, we have to imaging someone in Hollywood is going to have the discussion eventually. So, why not do a little day dreaming and throw in our humble ideas for what that might look like.
How do you solve a problem like Carrie Bradshaw in 2018? Even in 1998, the economics of the character hardly made sense. It's been decades since we could even pretend someone could afford their own Manhattan apartment on the revenue of writing a single newspaper article a week, and at no time could we ever imagine that person still indulging in luxury shopping binges from time to time. No, this Carrie had to have known struggle beyond swapping out dinner for Vogue that one time. In 2018, Carrie still comes to New York to work as a writer, but before the show starts she's clearly gone through some ups and a lot of downs. She gets laid off from her first three circa 2009 jobs either because the companies folded or they downsize. She spends time cranking out weekend content for Broadly, as an associate editor at Fashionista, and briefly had an actual print job at Blender. Of course, she even wrote a few Thought Catalog essays back in the day. Afraid she's burning out and losing her passion for writing, she still gets a thrill out of her anonymous Tumblr blog where she bluntly answers reader's relationship advice questions. That leads to a bylined relationship column at Jezebel, which leads to an entire podcast where she delves into her own relationship issues and those of her guests. Things are actually going well, too. Her Patreon has a few thousand supporters, the podcast is full of ads for Casper mattresses and Quip toothbrushes, and she frequently does live appearances and the college circuit. Indeed, she's moved out of her Bushwick apartment and into an apartment on the Lower East Side …which she shares with her roommate, Stanford Blanch (played by Jonathan Groff, or maybe, better yet, John Early).
Style-wise, while this Carrie still appreciates a good high heel when it's appropriate, her real weakness is her sneaker collection though her style isn't total hypebae. She's still got a mix of high and low going on, and appreciates a good vintage find as much as a high-end designer item on deep discount. She's fluent in all the Insta-girl brands as well, and has twice been put on the Mansur Gavriel bucket bag waitlist. Though, there's also a lot of fast-fashion items in the closet as well. Of course 2018 Carrie shops at Zara and Asos.
Oh, right, 2018 Sex and the City also corrects one of the biggest oversites of the original series. This Carrie Bradshaw is implicitly a Gemini.
Dream Castings: Jessica Williams, Elizabeth Olsen, Awkwafina, Gina Rodriguez.
In 2018, Miranda doesn't move to Brooklyn; she already lives there. It's all she could afford after disappointing her father by not following him into corporate law, but rather into doing legal work for nonprofits. Besides, Brooklyn suits her as she leans the most hipster of the girls anyway. Not in the "used to do Coke in the Misshapes' bathroom with Carrie when they were undergrads at NYU" way, but in the "Goes to the farmer's market, has a fixie, and loves Sleater-Kinney" kind of way. Formerly considering herself straight, at the beginning of the series she's still recovering from an intense 18-month relationship with a woman that ended badly and isn't sure quite how to identify anymore, or if it even matters.
Dream Castings: Ellen Page, Tessa Thompson, Gillian Jacobs, Aubrey Plaza.
Charlotte met Carrie when they briefly both had internships at Marie Claire, but ultimately decided magazines were too unstable for a girl like her, so she used her art history double major instead and works at Sotheby's as an associate in the Old Masters department. While the original Charlotte was teased for being the most prudish, this Charlotte also has to deal with being the most basic. Yeah, she loves to grab a Pumpkin Spice Latte on her way to SoulCycle, and if she hears one more quip about it she'll explode. Fittingly, while 2018 Charlotte still has a WASPy flair to her wardrobe, she's also the one you're most likely to find in Athleisure. She's also the least "woke," of the bunch. Not that she means any harm, but she just can't seem to catch up. Somehow, she still has the coolest gay friend of the bunch in Anthony (played by stand-up comedian Joel Kim Booster), and also has a secret life as an occasional stoner.
Dream Castings: Emma Roberts, Dianna Agron, Brittany Snow, Alexandra Daddario.
Samantha was the most ahead-of-her-time character on the original, so how do you update her for 2018? She still has to be the oldest and most confident of her group, and, yeah, after getting her start as a party promoter on New York's queer and club kid circuits, she still has her own PR agency. Though, perhaps this Samantha is a bit more of an activist in her own way. She wears her power feminism proudly as a label, and is even less afraid to call men out and put them in her place. Her agency still has fancy clients, but she does a lot of pro-bono and charity work as well for both queer and feminist causes. In 2018, it's not enough for a woman like Samantha to fight for her own right to live, love and fuck how she pleases (the original did that for her), now a days Samantha fights for the rights for everyone to live, love and, most of all, fuck how they please.
Dream Castings: Krysten Ritter, Naya Rivera, Issa Rae, Christina Aguilera.
Episode 1: "Happily Ever After"
Despite her relationship podcast hitting the top of the iTunes chart, Carrie realizes her own love life is still a mess after the seemingly nice guy she met at Union Pool ghosts her. Miranda still realizes she's not over her ex when she bumps into her at a matcha place. Charlotte seems to be the only one with her love life in order, but then in the middle of her engagement party, she discovers that not only does her investment banker fiancé have Tinder downloaded on his phone, but he was flirting with girls on it as recently as this morning. Samantha convinces the girls that they should all stop caring about what society expects of them in their loves lives, and persuades the girls to live their lives without worrying about labels, expectations, or conventionality.
Samantha's Quip: "Honey, just because I fought for marriage equality doesn't mean I actually think anyone should ever get married."
Episode 2: "Identities and Influencers"
Carrie accidentally blows her rent on a pair of rainbow glitter Gucci Rhyton sneakers, and explores the idea of becoming a sugar baby. After Samantha's PR firm opens a social media division, Charlotte is inspired to attempt to become an influencer until she's almost run over in the middle the street during an Instagram photoshoot. After finally coming to terms with the label "bisexual," Miranda has an explosive one night-stand with a non-binary bartender named Steve (played by Asia Kate Dillon) that has her reconsidering her identity once again.
Samantha's Quip: "Pansexual? Honey, I've slept with the entire kitchen."
Episode 3: "My DMs are Open"
When Carrie starts dating a man in a polyamorous open relationship she can't help but get jealous and wonders whether she's not quite as liberated as she thought. Charlotte discovers that the man who slid into her DMs was catfishing her, but after hunting him down still agrees to go on a date with him anyway. Miranda wonders whether her lube is ethically sourced and organic. When Samantha finds out her favorite neighborhood gay bar has banned women to hold a jockstrap night, she returns next week to burst past the bouncer in a jockstrap of her own to applause.
Samantha's Quip: "Honey, relationships are like windows. They all open eventually."
Episode 4: "Finsta Gratification"
Carrie goes out on what she thinks is a date with a young real estate investor who at first seems like the man of her dreams: tall, handsome, and powerful. Though, he spends half the time glancing at his phone. Fed up, Carrie catches a glimpse of his screen and discovers he has a finsta account with the username @MrBig. After the girls do some snooping, the accounts he follows gives Miranda an "Alt-right vibe." At first Carrie doesn't want to believe it thinking if she could just get him away from his phone they could really connect, but after she bumps into him at the Fresh Kitchen in Midtown and he mumbles something under his breath about customers speaking Spanish, she suddenly gets sick as she realizes Miranda's suspicions prove correct. In 2018 Sex and the City @MrBig is a one episode character never to be heard from or scene again.
Samantha's Quip: "Honey, it's 2018. Punching a Nazi is the new going to SoulCycle."
Episode 5: "The Real Bottoms of New York City"
Charlotte attempts to set up Anthony and Stanford but then is shocked to find out not only that they're both "bottoms" but what a "bottom" is. Carrie accidentally breaks the number one rule of her podcast: never hookup with a guest. Miranda bumps into Steve at a co-op, but is stunned to find out that while they're sexually open, they consider themselves only romantically attracted to men. After Samantha dramatically tells off a date who doesn't believe bisexuality is real at a fancy restaurant, Andy Cohen happens to be nearby and offers her a spot on Real Housewives. At first she's offended, thinking she's too young, but after reading how much money Bethenny Frankel made from Skinny Girl Margarita she agrees to appear on one episode as an audition but backs out when she runs into Sonja Morgan at a poetry reading the night before and realizes she's actually far more intellectual than she appears on TV. She just dumbs it up for a paycheck. Samantha can't lower herself.
Samantha's Quip: "Honey, I'm sexually liberated, socially activated, and …I'm sorry, Andy, I just can't do this. It's too ridiculous, even for me."
Episode 92: "Breaking the Glass Ceiling"
Samantha is managing Miranda's campaign for Governor of New York (Steve, New York's first potential First Non-binary Identifying Spouse, by her side). Charlotte hasn't just found the man of her dreams, she's found both of them and they all get married in one commitment ceremony. Carrie has given up on ever finding happily ever after and is raising two adopted twins alone. Though, when she takes a meeting with Netflix to turns her podcast into a TV show, she hits it off with a cute set designer named Aiden and agrees to get a drink with him afterwards.
Smantha's Quip: "Honey, you can't even trust a man to get the job done in the bedroom. Why would you trust one to get it done in the State Capitol?"
Related: Cynthia Nixon Is Celebrating Sex and the City's 20th Anniversary with Merch for Her Gubernatorial Campaign
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