Summer Shading is the toxic dating trend of the season

Summer is the time for freedom, to let loose and do whatever you like without restrictions. 

It’s also, notoriously, the time we feel that will be better spent sans a relationship. 

As the weather heats up, many people shed their latest fling or budding relationship as quickly as they do their big coat.

And while some cut things off completely, others string their potential partners along until autumn rolls around and they bring back their dating prospects from the dead. 

This, my friends, is Summer Shading, the summer dating trend that sees people refusing to commit during the warmer months.

Don’t get us wrong, a Hot Girl Summer can be just as valuable (if not more valuable) than a romantic one. 

In that sense, it’s completely fair to use your summer as a time to meet a variety of people or, indeed, work on yourself without being tied down

But what isn’t okay is sidelining potential partners you meet in summer without communicating your intentions. 

‘Many people will be dating over the summer months with genuine intentions, so when they end up experiencing summer shading it can end up feeling like a waste of time and energy invested into a dead-end prospect,’ Emma Hathorn, a dating expert at dating app Seeking.com, tells Metro.co.uk.

‘The shader will typically give off all the positive signs and traits of a potential romantic partner, gaslighting the ‘shadee’ into a false sense of security.’

How to know if you’re being shaded

If you’ve noticed your new beau is particularly flakey and inconsistent in their approach to dating you, you could be being shaded. 

Especially if they’re busy travelling, partying and spending time with new people.

‘Inconsistent communication is often a sign that you might be a victim of summer shading,’ explains Emma.

What should you do if you’re being shaded?

If you realise you’re being shaded, you have a couple of options.

If you really like them, try communicating about how you’re feeling and asking them what they really want.

‘If they’re not ready to commit to a relationship, you can then decide if you’re happy to pursue something casual with them,’ says Emma.

‘If not, politely communicate that you’re looking for someone more aligned with your relationship goals, and if they’re happy to lose you, take it as a sign to find a more meaningful connection.’

If you’re not too bothered, just drop them. Summer is too short to spend it playing games.

What to do if you meet someone you like but don’t want to commit

At its most basic, ‘summer shading’ is no different to dating casually, something that is completely fine to do!

If you’re in the mood to shade some people this summer, make sure you communicate that in the first place. 

‘Transparency is key in any stage of a relationship, if you don’t want anything serious, you should always communicate this to the person you’re dating,’ says Emma.

‘You may find that the person is in the same boat, and if they’re not, they’ll respect your honesty. 

‘On the flip side, if you conceal your feelings and deceive this person, you could burn a bridge with them down the line when you are more ready to settle down’. 

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing [email protected].

Source: Read Full Article