My husband James and I met five years ago through relatives who acted as matchmakers for us.
The sparks flew as soon as we started talking. We soon arranged to meet up and it was love at first sight (or kiss!).
After a year of dating, James finally won over my dad who agreed to give him my hand in marriage. He proposed at my favourite restaurant and of course I said yes! Our wedding day was a fairytale and the best day of our lives.
We have now been married for two years and live together in our own flat. We have a support worker who helps us live independently and is a fantastic cook! Her name is Jay and she is wonderful.
So when we came across the TV show, Ralph & Katie on BBC, which is a spin-off of The A Word, we were very curious. Ralph and Katie are a couple with Down’s syndrome – just like me and James – and the programme is about their first year of marriage.
Watching it was like seeing our own marriage on camera!
One of our favourite parts was when Ralph surprised Katie at work with flowers as that is something that James would do to me.
I see a lot of James in Ralph; how he looks after his wife and sticks to her no matter what. They are together through thick and thin.
Just like Ralph and Katie, James and I also have disagreements, but we come together in the end. We are like any other couple and we love seeing that shown on TV.
We feel that this programme shows everyone that our lives are valuable. It is so refreshing for people to see that there is a bright side to living with Down’s syndrome.
Before now, every show we have seen about Down’s syndrome is always negative. It makes us feel like we aren’t valued.
Often shows focus on parents who find they are expecting a baby with Down’s syndrome but rarely do they show adults who are living happy and fulfilling lives.
Just like me and James, Ralph and Katie are loving married life and shown living independently.
It’s so lovely to finally watch a positive story about Down’s syndrome. Me and James also know the actor Sarah Gordy who plays Katie as we have done some campaigning work with her; she is a lovely young lady and she is a very good actor.
Leon Harrop, who plays Ralph, is very funny in the show. We love the way Ralph speaks to his mum – he is so cheeky! Like when he asks his mum why she didn’t take him to clubs when he was younger.
‘We weren’t the kind of people that did clubs,’ his mum says. Ralph immediately replies, ‘You weren’t’.
It’s a light hearted romantic comedy, which I love with the occasional strong language. James and I highly recommend it.
We were so captivated by it we couldn’t turn it off, and it’s so accurate for couples with Down’s syndrome as it shows us as real humans not just a list of medical problems and it gives a snippet into our incredible lives.
Our advice to a couple with Down’s syndrome or any couple is to seek your partner’s happiness first and in that you will find your own happiness. That advice was given to us by an uncle when we first got married.
I have just released a new book called I’m Just Heidi which is about the incredible life that I lead, how my mum and dad came to terms with the diagnosis of Down’s syndrome. You can also hear about my husband’s story and our love story.
It is great to have so many more stories being told of how it really is living on your own and it speaks to those who are on the fringes. Hopefully Ralph & Katie and my book can help encourage parents to consider independent living and can give them hope about the amazing lives their children will lead.
Heidi does lots of campaigning about disability equality and is a public speaker; you can find her website here. You can follow James and Heidi’s lives on Facebook (Heidi Crowter – Living The Dream / James Carter – Living Independently) and Twitter (@HeidiCrowter95 / @jamesca68412009), and can buy Heidi’s book here.
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