THERE were six nailed-on certainties about the chief Just Stop Oil protestor who caused London’s critical M25 Dartford Crossing to be partially shut for the best part of two days by climbing up the Queen Elizabeth II bridge above it.

 First, he’d have a scraggly beard and a beany hat. 

 Second, he’d speak in hysterical apocalyptic terms about the imminent end of the planet. 

 Third, he’d preach self-righteously about wanting to save lives, whilst not giving a monkey’s cuss about the possibility of his own actions costing lives.

 Fourth, he’d vow not to quit his protest until the Government caved to his demands, then give up when it got a bit chilly.

Fifth, he’d laughably and offensively compare himself to civil rights campaigner Dr Martin Luther King Jr. 

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 Sixth, the police would be powerless to do anything about him.

 Morgan Trowland, a 39-year-old engineer from New Zealand, perfectly personifies the arrogance, delusion, selfishness, and hypocritical cowardice of these eco-loon imbeciles who’ve become a daily blight on our lives.

 He doesn’t care how much chaos, disruption or misery he and his motley mob cause because according to him, the world’s about to end anyway.

 Yet rather than try to persuade people about the validity of his argument through democratic argument and discourse, he thinks he can do it by enraging everyone.

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In recent weeks, Just Stop Oil have intensified their irritant antics – blocking roads, invading pitches at football matches, and in their most disgusting shameful move, hurling human faeces over a statue for the late, great Captain Sir Tom Moore.

 Last Friday, two young women hurled tomato soup at Van Gogh’s masterpiece Sunflowers in the National Gallery. 

 "What is worth more, art or life?" shouted Phoebe Plummer, 21. "Is it worth more than food? More than justice? Are you more concerned about the protection of a painting, or the protection of our planet and people?"

 To which my response would be what the flying f**k does some spoiled little whiny brats desecrating a magnificent painting have to do with saving the planet?

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 In fact, the only effect this abominably petty act of vandalism had on me was to want to go and use more oil.

 Just as when radical vegans charge into steak houses shrieking abuse at meat eaters, it makes me want to order a Big Mac.

 That’s my big problem with these clowns.

 Far from convincing the public to join their campaigns, they make most of us want to do the complete opposite.

Take the Animal Rebellion idiots who poured milk onto the floors of supermarkets and stores like Harrods and Fortum & Mason, as they demanded a "plant-based future".

Can you imagine a dumber optic than that in the middle of the worst cost-of-living crisis in living memory?

'Loathsome losers'

Is there a single person in Britain who would watch these sour-faced goons wasting ever-more-expensive milk like that, at a time when food bank queues are going through the roof and conclude: I must join their fight!

 And that’s before we get to their woeful disrespect for the store workers who have to then clean up their mess.

 My own personal nadir for these loathsome losers came when they spray-painted the outside of an Aston Martin showroom.

 One of them, 19-year-old pregnant Chloe Thomas, said she was doing it to protect the next generations of humanity.

"How do I explain to my daughter in the years to come where the animals went, where the culture went, where the beauty went, why there are no bees and why I can't put food in her tummy?" she wailed.

 I suspect that like most vegans, she probably eats almonds and avocados, both of which involve the mass murder of billions of bees during their annual production in California, and then cause huge environmental damage by being flown 6,000 miles from America so the vegans can gorge on them in the UK whilst haranguing the rest of us for "destroying bees and the planet!"

 And as a proud long-time Aston Martin owner, I share the view of former Top Gear star Richard Hammond who explained on Good Morning Britain that driving an old Aston for a few thousand miles a year uses less carbon footprint than the mobile phones or laptops these protestors use to tweet out their fury.

Enraged public

 He also pointed out the main issue with their demands for an immediate move to electric cars: they’re far too expensive for most people to be able to afford them.

 If there’s one thing more irksome than the chaos these louts are causing, it’s the apparent impotence of the police to deal with them properly.

Former Home Secretary Suella Braverman named and blamed the culprits in Parliament yesterday when she said, "it’s the Labour Party, it’s the Lib Dems… it’s the Guardian-reading, tofu-eating wokerati…that we have to thank for the disruption that we are seeing on our roads today".

 Despite losing her position today, she was right to say opposition politicians have refused to back a crackdown on protests that block roads, and they must now do so before we see more members of the enraged public inevitably take the law into their own hands.

 When Morgan Trowland climbed up the Queen Elizabeth II bridge with his teacher mate Marcus, and lay comfortably in a hammock on Monday and Tuesday, he declared: "We’re going to stay here until the Government makes a meaningful statement that they will end new licencing consents for oil and gas extraction in the UK and that they will start an emergency transition to the renewable energy that we need, funded by the fossil fuel companies, and the rich."

But he quit after just 36 hours and won precisely zero concessions from the Government.

 To say that Morgan Trowland is no Dr King is like saying Kim Kardashian is no Einstein.

 He boasted they had "successfully disrupted oil supplies to Kent and the South East".

But that wasn’t all they’d disrupted, was it?

'Pathetically inappropriate'

They’d also stopped tens of thousands of people from going to work, including nurses, doctors, police and fire officers, teachers.

 Who knows how many lives they risked?

They don’t know, and they don’t care.

And there lies the conceit at the heart of this Just Stop Oil campaign; they pretend they’re about "safeguarding human life" but constantly put lives in danger through their behaviour.

 "Martin Luther King was reviled in America in the early 1960s," said Trowland, "sometimes people hate the thing that needs to come next."

Comparing himself to one of the bravest, most heroic, and peace-loving campaigners in history is pathetically inappropriate from a guy whose idea of sacrifice is lying in a hammock.

 And it’s not the thing that needs to come next that we all hate, it’s his Just Stop Oil methodology.

 The worst thing about his behaviour is that like many, I believe climate change is real, and I do think we should be doing more to combat it.

 But you can’t do that by ditching fossil fuels overnight for green energy because that simply isn’t workable, either practically or financially.

 The sensible way forward is to phase out our reliance on fossil fuels at the same speed we can produce efficient, plentiful and, crucially, affordable green energy to replace it.

 I think most people would sign up to that.

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 But I also think the Just Stop Oil protestors are now actively damaging their cause with their stupid behaviour. 

 Just stop it, you disruptive deluded cretins.

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