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I haven’t watched The View in probably a decade, because reasons. But my mother assures me that Ana Navarro — the latest conservative voice on the panel — is intelligent and reasonable, like in the vein of Nicholle Wallace. Because of this gig, Ana splits her time between New York and her home in Miami. True story: Florida is populated by an abundance of wild animals (including its humans). On a recent episode of the Behind the Table podcast, Ana lit into a raccoon who has wreaked havoc on her Miami property. She wants this fiend, along with all its kin, dead. More on her desire to eradicate Procyon lotor from the face of the Earth, or at least Florida:

The View star Ana Navarro is preparing to do battle with a group of critters invading her Miami home.

The cohost and current events pundit recently took a break from discussing politics to set her sights on a pesky raccoon that terrorized her abode.

“I had to do an entire reconstruction of an area of my house,” she said on Friday’s episode of the Behind the Table podcast. “A raccoon came through a palm frond onto my roof, ate a hole through my roof, it rained, water got in. It has been a disaster. I had to take my guest house down to the studs because of this raccoon. So, let me just say, I hate raccoons, I think they should all die, I don’t care if they’re cute, I don’t care if PETA comes after me. This raccoon needs to die.”

The 51-year-old Republican cohost went on to lament certain aspects of her beloved city versus New York City, where she spends her downtime between broadcasts of The View.

“Living in Miami is so high-maintenance,” she said. “People in New York live in apartments and they have a super or somebody to take care of all this stuff. In Miami, you need all sorts of people to help.”

She continued, “And then there’s raccoons, there’s iguanas, they s— in your pool. There’s lizards, there’s pythons that eat your Yorkies. There’s alligators — there’s alligators walking around on the street!”

[From Entertainment Weekly]

You guys, the poor woman had to renovate her guest house! Here’s the thing, I do feel sorry for Floridians these days. Between climate change-enhanced hurricanes, wild animals traipsing around like they belong there (the nerve!), and insurance companies essentially bailing on coverage entirely for the Sunshine State, homeowners are in dire straits. Ana could get some sympathy here, but it just rubs me the wrong way when she laments the damage done to her guest house and pool. I don’t even have a guest room, Ana! And FYI, I’m a New York City resident, and when I showed my building’s super the hole in my bathroom ceiling from water damage coming from the floor above, he took one look and said “I don’t fix that. Call management.” A friend in another borough had water leaking from her bedroom ceiling, and her super’s solution was… to move the bed. I’m just saying, not all of us NY apartment-dwellers have someone to reliably take care of “this stuff.”

As for raccoons, they are rascals who will mess up your sh*t. I count myself lucky that I haven’t had any close encounters with them, but I did have one creepy interaction. Well, not an interaction, so much as I’m pretty sure I witnessed from my childhood bedroom window two raccoons having sex in the backyard one night. I don’t know what this says about me, but I was riveted. And then increasingly concerned for the raccoon on the bottom who was stopped in every attempt to move away. I went to bed feeling very dirty that night.

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Photos credit: David Selbert and Anne Sch via pexels

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