The thing about the royal summer holidays is that it’s very easy for the Windsors to be slow out of the gate to respond or react when there’s a legitimate issue. It’s happened time and time again in the sleepy summer months, where a problem is magnified by the Windsors’ summer-reticence to actually DO something. So it is with Prince William’s World Cup fiasco, where he was too lazy, stupid and sexist to travel to Australia to support the Lionesses in the Women’s World Cup final. William has been Football Association President for well over a decade, and his job entails more than “watching football from home.” Anyway, it’s been a full week of watching William get dragged and I’m not ready for the party to be over. Please enjoy this excerpt from the Guardian’s “No one really cares about William missing the World Cup final. This was about Harry – again” by columnist Zoe Williams. The subheadline: “Ignore Piers Morgan. Most people aren’t angry about the royal no-show – they just want to take our future king down a peg or two.” A PEG OR TWO.
The question I was not expecting was “Where was Prince William at the World Cup final?”, still less to hear it endlessly examined, by news anchors, bigmouths, football pundits and politicians. Who was the angriest, between Jon Sopel, who tweeted: “Happy to accept might be impossible for the PM, given other commitments. But Prince William? Why?” and Piers Morgan, who went in on: “With respect, YRH [Your Royal Highness], you should have got on a plane.”
…This is what happens when you get into a popularity contest with your brother. Having made the decision to neither complain nor explain, as per his family’s motto, there has been little William could do in the face of Harry’s Californian openness, except exist as a counterpoint, the not-open brother, who hasn’t been to therapy, who probably doesn’t meditate, who doesn’t have problematic feelings, still less tell anyone about them, and hope that public opinion would swing his way. And it has, broadly: he is now the most popular member of the royal family after the departed Queen, though if all the respondents knew they were allowed to stick with the deceased, surely Henry VIII would have got more of a look-in?
Kate of Wales (or whatever), meanwhile, is fourth most popular, after Princess Anne, while Meghan and Harry languish at 11th and 12th respectively. William’s victory as preferred sibling has been pretty resounding, but he has been in this game long enough to know that triumph in it is just the opening of a new nightmare, one in which the populace can rescind their approval at any time, on a whim, and they test this power with fresh objections all the time, just to prove they still have it. There are so many reasons that William might be selected as the face of the oppressive patriarchy, but football isn’t really one of them.
Now that he is on the back foot, he will be ominously aware that the next thing he doesn’t attend has the potential to drag him down further, and the third will turn into a pattern of behaviour, The Prince Who Doesn’t Turn Up to Things. What an easy slide that is to The Prince Who Doesn’t Share the Nation’s Joy or Pain. He will be showing his face to judge cheesecake competitions, while wondering neurotically whether Harry has got the jump on him by going to Crufts.
It is an absolutely poisoned chalice, royalty, and the answer has been obvious for decades: all of you, put yourselves out of your misery and abdicate. Since none of them will do that, the second best idea is to be more Anne. Very private princess – I have no idea what she does and doesn’t attend, only that it’s always headscarf weather.
[From The Guardian]
I thought it was funny, although her premise is sort of incomplete. While I do not doubt that William’s fanatical obsession with Harry is a huge part of this, the larger problem is… William is lazy. That’s a stand-alone issue, although one could argue that the only way to get William to do anything at all is by telling him that Harry already did it. Harry spoke at the United Nations – William wants to do it too! Harry is embraced by Americans – William wants the same! Harry is a global statesman with a portfolio of charities, foundations and the Invictus Games. William wants to be just like that, only without putting in any effort or time. So he’s just running around, telling people he’s a global statesman, all while he refuses to leave his mistress’s love shack (or whatever). But I also agree that people are using the World Cup fiasco as a chance to take William down “a peg or two.” They all know. It’s another open secret.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, screencap courtesy of the Diana Awards.
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