Soapwatch with JACI STEPHEN: Will love fizzle out for Phill and Fiz?
- Will their exes let Fiz and Phill make it down the aisle in Coronation Street?
- Phil’s prison life is looking quite cushy in EastEnders, with people at his call
- It’s a weepy week in Emmerdale as the day of Faith’s scan arrives – it’s not good
CORONATION STREET
Will their exes let Fiz and Phill (pictured) make it down the aisle in Coronation Street? There is also Phill’s mum Mimi lurking in the background
There is not a wedding in Soapland that hasn’t endured the big Will They Or Won’t They? question, and Fiz and Phill’s nuptials are no exception.
Will he have had his Phill of her before saying ‘I do’? Will her love Fizle out? (Give me a break; it’s a slow joke day.)
There’s certainly a whiff of disaster in the air with Phill’s ghastly mum Mimi lurking in the background and then Phill’s ex-wife Camilla turning up. Phill is unperturbed and insists he wants to marry Fiz; Camilla has other plans, as does Tyrone, who tells his ex how he really feels before it’s too late.
And let’s not forget the devil child Hope in the mix: beyond Hope doesn’t even begin to cover her problems.
JENNIE’S LITTLE DAY
Corrie’s Jennie McAlpine (Fiz) does not share her character’s enthusiasm for big weddings. When she married restaurateur Chris Farr at Trafford Town Hall, it was just them, their son and two witnesses.
It didn’t take Stephen long to set hearts a-flutter, but despite the frisson with Elaine, is there longevity in a potential relationship? Given that she was once married to Geoff, she should be wary of a man who seems too good to be true.
It’s also suspicious that despite having allegedly lived in Milan for years, Stephen can’t even summon up the language skills to ask for just one Cornetto.
When Audrey calls a family meeting and announces that she’s updating her will and leaving everything to WARTS (the Weatherfield Association of Retail Traders), it’s a smack in the face for Sarah and David, both hoping for a slice of her estate (a slice? She’s hardly the Duke of Westminster. I doubt there are six crumbs, let alone even one slice).
Despite backtracking and reassuring them she’ll leave them everything, Audrey has another bombshell: everything’s to be kept in a trust by Stephen, who is also moving into Grasmere Drive to look after her (suspicious, or what?). David’s not happy. Expect a resounding chorus of Mamma Mia anytime.
EASTENDERS
Phil’s (pictured) prison life is looking quite cushy in EastEnders, with people at his beck and call, quite literally
Crikey, a cigar in the square!
How many more extended families can EastEnders make room for – and where are they all going to live? I swear there are more Carters lodging under the pub stairs.
The arrival of Mitch’s brother Avery (Omar Lye-Fook) looks like being another mini-empire in the making. We know that Avery is some kind of big shot because of (1) his name (2) he has a flash car (3) he’s wearing a three-piece suit, and (4) he’s holding a cigar.
Ye gods! A cigar. Beats Karen dragging on a ciggie.
Phil’s prison life is starting to look quite cushy alongside everyone else’s. No utility bills, no concerns about planes or trains being cancelled, or the rising cost of petrol.
He doesn’t even seem to have to worry about how long the queue for the phone might be.
Unlike in other TV dramas, where there’s a queue of thugs threatening to beat you to a pulp if you don’t hang up, the telecommunications in Walford nick are at Phil’s beck and (literal) call.
With a choice of three phones, he calls Kat after making an enemy of fellow prisoner Craig, and he’s now waiting on another inmate, Ravi, to get him a burner phone. Blimey, Phil, who are you working for? BT?
After getting into a fight with Craig, the guards step in, and when Phil meets Keeble, she gives him another 48 hours to consider her offer. How long before he turns from ‘I ain’t no grass’ to being the walking equivalent of the Wimbledon tennis courts?
There’s good news for those of you who can’t wait for your nightly fix of the show, by the way.
All of the week’s episodes are now available on iPlayer every Monday until mid-August. Call Phil if you don’t believe me.
EMMERDALE: TISSUES AT THE READY AS FAITH GETS HER RESULTS
It’s a weepy week in Emmerdale as the day of Faith’s (pictured with Chaz) scan arrives – it’s not good news
Be prepared for a weepy week as the day of Faith’s scan arrives. Moira again pleads with Cain to step up for his mother (change the record, Moira! Your sheep need you!), and Chas accompanies Faith to the hospital, where they await the results.
Alas, it’s not good news, the cancer has spread, and Faith refuses more chemo.
So, what does Chas do? She runs straight into the arms of Al, with whom she shares a passionate kiss.
Al’s slightly reluctant (which lasts all of 30 seconds) but thinks that Chas can use him to escape her problems. Yes, there’s nothing like a dying mother to push you into having an illicit affair behind your husband’s back.
What is Chas thinking? Oh, that’s right; she doesn’t.
The storyline becomes more believable as Cain (Jeff Hordley) struggles with the reality of the situation while remembering his traumatic past.
Hordley continues to add so many layers to a character who appears, on the surface, to be little more than a reckless thug; but as Cain shares with Chas the hurt that their mother inflicted on him, we witness yet another extraordinary dimension. Will Cain relent and spend time with Faith before it’s too late?
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