WHEN divorcee Joanne Ferneyhough, 43, from Staffordshire, fell in love again, she thought she’d finally found her happy ending.
Instead, it was the start of a horrific campaign of control and abuse.
Sipping my tea, I grimaced with disgust and asked my husband Thomas if the milk was off.
He shrugged, then said with a glint in his eye: “You never know, I could have put anything in it…”
I put his comment down to his dark sense of humour, never imagining the truth was far darker.
I met Thomas Ferneyhough, 38, in November 2014 on a dating site.
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I was a recently divorced mum of two and Thomas caught my eye – at 6ft 3in, with dark hair, he was attractive, and after discovering we had mutual friends, I felt reassured he was a decent guy.
We had our first date in a bar in Stafford, and after a few months, I introduced him to my kids, who he was great with.
Looking back, I can now see Thomas was full-on, wanting to be with me all the time, and sulking if I made arrangements to see friends and family.
I put it down to him being insecure, and in June 2015, he moved into my house.
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I hoped it would prove I was serious about our relationship, but things just got worse.
I wasn’t allowed on nights out, as he didn’t want me talking to other men.
I also wasn’t allowed to walk our pug Bella on my own.
I ask myself every day why I didn’t leave him then, but there were good times too, and I wanted to make it work.
Then, in December 2015, I came home from work and on our bed, written in rose petals, were the words: “Will you marry me?”.
I said “yes”, and we tied the knot in June 2017.
I thought it would be a new beginning for us, but instead, Thomas began to control what I wore, and I wasn’t allowed out of the house unless he was satisfied with my outfit.
My family and friends thought he was great, and I was too ashamed to admit what was going on.
Three months after the wedding, I told him to move out, but he begged me to reconsider, which I eventually did.
At first, things were better, but his controlling behaviour soon started again.
By early 2021, I’d decided to leave for good.
As we had some shared debt, I contacted a specialist agency about how to deal with it if we separated.
But Thomas found details of the call on my phone and confronted me.
I denied it, but I could tell he didn’t believe me.
Later that year, I began to feel unwell – I was lethargic and exhausted, and kept falling asleep during the day.
Once, while in a deep sleep, I woke up to find Thomas shaking my arm.
He looked panicked and told me he’d thought I was dead, which seemed strange.
I thought the exhaustion was down to stress, but then I began vomiting, too.
I went to my GP, who ran some blood tests, but they came back normal.
Thomas was angry I’d gone to the doctor, but seemed relieved they hadn’t found anything.
Weeks later, in December 2021, Thomas lost his temper because he didn’t like some food I’d cooked.
I knew enough was enough.
I took my kids and went to stay with family, then called the police.
They told Thomas he had to leave my home.
Immediately, I began to feel better, and the lethargy and vomiting stopped.
One day, I remembered Bella had been prescribed medicine by the vet, and saw the bottle was almost empty – had Thomas been making me sick?
That month, he was arrested after threatening to burn my house down and phoning and messaging constantly.
I gave a statement and told police I thought he’d drugged me by slipping sleeping tablets and dog medication into my food.
It was hard to comprehend that the man I’d once loved had been poisoning me.
He was charged with common assault in relation to the drugging, threat to destroy property, harassment and coercive/controlling behaviour.
In August 2022, he pleaded guilty to the charges and was sentenced to 30 months in prison.
In January this year, I was shocked to learn he’d been released early on licence.
A few days later, I saw him at the bottom of my garden.
Petrified, I feared he had come to kill me.
Shortly after, I got an anonymous card in the post, then a bouquet of flowers.
He appeared in my garden again, and I reported it to the police, hoping he’d be arrested.
But they needed more evidence that he’d breached the restraining order he’d been given as part of his release.
Then, one day, I was out in my car when Thomas jumped on it.
When I tried to drive away, he dived on the bonnet and began punching and banging the car.
Terrified, I pulled over and he rolled off, before banging on the windows.
I called the police, but he left before they arrived, and I broke down, thinking I’d never be free.
In March, Thomas appeared at North Staffordshire Justice Centre, charged with breaching a restraining order on conviction.
He was given 16 weeks imprisonment, and is serving the rest of his original sentence in jail.
He isn’t due for release until next year.
Everything that’s happened has changed me.
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I’m chronically anxious, never feel safe, and felt I had to move house.
I’ve started a new relationship, which was a leap of faith, but I refuse to let Thomas control my life.
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