‘Boyfriend masturbates so much in online chats – he’s too tired for sex for me’
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    I’m sick of my boyfriend talking dirty online to other women.

    He says he does it only to relieve stress. But how is this grubby hobby fair on me?

    I feel excluded and angry. Most evenings he locks himself in the spare room and plays with his laptop until midnight.

    READ MORE: 'I've bagged dream fella but he's useless at sex, licks my legs and has small todger'

    He orders me to leave cups of tea outside the door and goes crazy if I try and peek inside. I suspect he chats to lonely housewives but also pays for private chats and stripteases from online sex workers too.

    I can always tell when he’s masturbated too much because he’s too knackered to have real sex with me.

    I accept that he works in an extremely demanding industry. His days are tough and his greedy bosses are revolting, but surely there must be other stress-busting activities out there?

    What about squash or boxing? I’ve suggested jogging or cycling together but he brushes me off.

    At the moment, I’m worried that someone special has captured his heart. He comes in from work and can’t get up the stairs fast enough.

    The other night I got a call informing me that his mother had fallen down her stairs. I banged on his door for ages, telling him that we had to get there, but he refused to open it. I drove over alone, fuming all the way.

    I know how laptops work and I know how to get into his. I go through his history when he’s at work. I know who he’s talking to and the kinds of websites he favours.

    He’s no longer the guy I fell in love with. I’m lonely and disillusioned. Online sex has destroyed our relationship and I don’t know how much more I can take.

    JANE SAYS: He sounds like a man in crisis. His days are spent in a stressful environment, while his evenings are dedicated to sleazy online sex with strangers.

    He must hear that you will not go on like this. Where is the respect or the commitment to your relationship?

    Understandably you feel confused and rejected. But it’s vital that you stay in control and keep your cool.

    Looking at his private laptop might not have been ethical or desirable, but what’s done is done – and you now know what you’re up against.

    Does he believe that what he’s doing is fair? Is he prepared to apologise for all the hurt he’s causing you?


    If his job is horrible, then what changes can be made? And what of this other person who seems to have turned his head? What can he tell you about her or him?

    That business with his mother was a low point. Sadly, if you can’t reason with him, then you’ll have to bring things to a head with a decision of your own.

    You can’t allow yourself to be crushed or ignored. Your emotional and physical health are precious and need to be protected.

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