Despite having starred as The Bachelorette, a show that’s all about finding the love of your life, Brooke Blurton doesn’t believe that one person can meet all your needs.
“At the start of doing Bachelor I went in with a hope, and then it kind of led me down this unusual and crazy path. And then I did Bachelorette and again, I was still hoping. I’m a sucker for punishment,” she says, with a laugh. “And I do feel very strongly about love itself.”
Brooke Blurton.Credit:Simon Schluter
“The dating world is so unusual, even just in its own realm, but when you put TV and cameras [in the mix] it kind of fast tracks a lot of stuff, you just have to be self-aware, you have to be really aware of what you want, and what you’re looking for.
Blurton is speaking ahead of the All About Women event in Sydney next month, where she, author Rosie Waterland, and Gamilaroi and Torres Strait Islander writer and actor Nakkiah Lui will discuss “Finding Love in a Hopeless Place” – a session name that could double as a tagline for the matchmaking shows on air currently. Blurton had a few relationships with contestants, but none lasted.
“I kind of figured out really quickly what I wanted for a relationship, not only just with someone, but with myself, with my family, with my community.”
The 28-year-old Nyungar-Yamatji mental health advocate, raised in Carnarvon in Western Australia, made history as the first Indigenous, bisexual contestant on reality television in Australia.
Blurton and Jamie-Lee kiss on The Bachelorette.Credit:Network Ten
“It was showing a different love that people aren’t always exposed to: same-sex love and same-sex couples and sexuality… I know that it’s not the most genuine and natural, organic platform to show that but for me, there was not one part of it that didn’t feel genuine or authentic. Like I was really, truly in it.
“Unfortunately, I just felt like I got, you know, love goggles and rose-coloured glasses, which generally happens, right?”
She’s not a fan of the dysfunctional relationships depicted in Married at First Sight, Bachelor in Paradise and Love Island. “What are we exposing our children and young people to, like this is a quick hookup and ‘oh, can we go for a chat?’ That’s not how we should see relationships.”
More positive reality television might show women finding themselves. “I’ll call it Big Love based on my book, finding big love for yourself.”
In Big Love: Reclaiming myself, my people, my country, released last year, Blurton speaks about growing up being told she was “not white enough” and “not Aboriginal enough”. When she was 11 her mother and her grandmother died and then, at the same age, she was sexually abused.
Through therapy, reconnecting with her Aboriginality, and sport – she loved to play AFL – she found a way through. “I’m the smallest little person – I’m five foot two. I always say, smallest in stature but big on impact. And I think a lot of women don’t realise their own power.”
Blurton says the reality TV experience mostly reminded her to know her own worth. “The thing I tell my friends and my family, especially my girlfriends, [is] you’re never too much. Stop thinking that you’re ever too much.
“Also soulmates aren’t just in one person, you know, in a romantic relationship – find soulmates in different people and that could be in friendships. The Bachelor and The Bachelorette always emphasise finding the one but I don’t think there’s just one person that you can get everything that you need in life out of. We put a lot of pressure on that relationship.”
With Osher Günsberg on the set of The Bachelorette.
Blurton is a strong advocate for the Voice to parliament. “It’s time for us to step up as a nation,” she says.
“I’ve been a part of the movement. I’ve seen the momentum of it and I’ve also consulted with a lot of elders and people in the community, I understand the depth of it. Basically, what we’re asking for is agency over our own rights, which we’ve never had – they were taken away from us.”
All About Women is at the Sydney Opera House from March 11-13.
Big Love by Brooke Blurton is out now.
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