"I needed to stay very celibate and honoring and in some sort of state of mourning of the loss of a nuclear family that I swore I would have for my daughters"
Drew Barrymore is making it clear that she does not hate sex.
The actress turned talk show host set the record straight after she was accused of disliking the intimate act.
It all began when Barrymore addressed Andrew Garfield saying he practiced abstinence for six months in preparation to play a Jesuit priest in 2016 film “Silence.”
“What’s wrong with me that six months doesn’t seem like a very long time?” Barrymore quipped in response. “I was like, ‘Yeah so?'”
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However, the off-hand remark struck some as an anti-sex stance. Per a recent blog post, titled “Rebels Who Love,” Barrymore said a woman approached her after a workout, telling her, “You look just like Drew Barrymore except for you look like you have mental wellness and besides … she hates sex!”
Barrymore said she realized the comment likely had to do with her hot take on Garfield’s stint as a celibate.
“At nearly 48 I have very different feelings about intimacy than I did growing up,” she wrote in her blog. “I did not have role model parents and I engaged with people in grown up ways since a tender age! I was looking for companionship! validation! excitement! pleasure! hedonism! fun! And adventures!! Now, because I can’t get in the time machine and change my history … [I] choose to look at it through a positive lens, which is that I lived! I lived a very rich full life.”
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“I am just in a completely different place in my life and maybe in the near future I will get into a relationship… but it simply hasn’t been my priority,” she admitted. “So I’m not a person who needs sex and has to go out there and engage with people on that level.”
“Some people can get out of a marriage or relationship and in the near future find themselves in another relationship. There is nothing wrong with that! Not one bit,” she told her readers. “I do not judge! I celebrate their journey! Because for some people that really works. It didn’t work for me.”
Barrymore, who shares daughters Olive and Frankie with ex husband Will Kopelman, has been divorced since 2016.
“And since entering life as a single mom,” she acknowledged in the post, “I have not been able to have an intimate relationship.”
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“I needed to stay very celibate and honoring and in some sort of state of mourning of the loss of a nuclear family that I swore I would have for my daughters and to find grace and acceptance and what our new normal of a blended family would be.”
“It took time. I’m proud of myself that I took that time,” she continued. “That’s what I, as my own individual and no one else just me, needed to do and I honored that and I respect myself for it, as I respect anyone else for their choices. I have just simply come to laugh about the fact that it is not my personal priority to be with a partner, but that doesn’t mean it won’t become one someday. I need time. And my view on sex has truly changed.”
“So for the record, I do not hate sex!” Barrymore stated. “I have just finally come to the epiphany that love and sex are simply not the same thing I searched my whole life for, which is to be a calm woman and not a bombastic party girl. Also, when you grow up and are in a marriage with kids and you think you’ll only be with this one person for the rest of your life and then that doesn’t happen? It rocked me to my core, to put it lightly. But I am lucky enough to have my cup runneth over in the love department: I have my two daughters, and for the first time ever in my life, I’m actually including self-love, too.”
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