I've only just realised my uncle abused me when I was ten, was it my fault if I instigated it?

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I was a ten-year-old boy I asked my uncle to teach me to kiss properly.

It then went on to a full sexual relationship.

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I am a man of 30 now and keep playing the situation over in my mind.

My uncle was 32 at the time and he lived with us after he was thrown out of my grandmother’s house.

My parents used to go to the social club twice a week and my uncle babysat in return for bed and board.

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I still see my uncle but the abuse stopped when he moved out of our house.

I realise it was child abuse but was it my fault if I instigated it? I think I was to blame.

DEAR DEIDRE

I've fallen in love with co-worker but our boss has told us to split up

FLOWN OFF WITH MONEY

HYPOCRITE

TESTING TIMES

DEIDRE SAYS: Absolutely not.

This was never your fault.

You were a vulnerable child. Your uncle took advantage of you.

If he still has access to children, they may be at risk so consider reporting him.

You can find support and understanding through the NSPCC (nspcc.org.uk, 0808 800 5000).

Its website has a section concerning non-recent abuse.