A mum-of-four says never sharing a bed with her husband has made their relationship stronger by keeping their sex life ‘passionate and spicy’.
Miriam Ezagui, 36, is happily married to Aron, 35. The couple are Orthodox Jews, and follow traditional religious practices.
Miriam says that following Jewish laws around family purity, which include having periods of complete abstinence, has deepened their bond.
Being completely unable to hug, kiss or touch each other for two weeks a month has kept their sex life exciting.
Taharas Hamishpacha (laws of family purity) are a part of Judaism which says that while a woman is menstruating, and for a week afterwards, a couple shouldn’t be intimate.
This is known as Niddah, and during this time a couple shouldn’t have sex, share a bed, hug, kiss or touch either.
It even goes so far as to say a couple shouldn’t pass one another anything, share food and drinks, or even lift furniture together.
But Miriam and Aron, who have four daughters between the ages of nine and 14 months, take this to the next level and sleep in separate beds all year round.
The New York couple know this decision may surprise people but Miriam says not sharing a bed means they have to sort things out with some old-fashioned talking.
She said: “During the time of Niddah, we can’t be physical in any way, so any problems you have can’t be solved by a ‘kiss and make up’.
‘You have to work through issues with words on a deeper level and it is definitely something which enriches the relationship.’
They made the decision because they like our own space, but sleeping separately had some other unexpected benefits.
They also work different shift patterns for their intensive jobs – Miriam works as a labour and delivery room nurse while Aron is a paramedic. Sleeping sepertaely means they don’t disturb each other when going into work at different times.
Miriam said: ‘Not sharing a bed, even outside of Niddah, makes you so much more sensitive to touch and makes it more special because you don’t take it for granted when you can again.
‘When you haven’t been physical or even touched for two weeks, the sex feels like your wedding night all over again.
‘It keeps things passionate and spicy.’
Miriam also explains that her beliefs mean that sex is an important part of her relationship.
Miriam said: ‘In the time of the month where you are allowed to have sex in Judaism, it’s not seen as something we shouldn’t enjoy.
‘It’s considered an extremely holy time and something which can strengthen the relationship.’
Physical intimacy is seen as a positive thing for a couple to engage in, outside of Niddah.
‘When you can be together, you should – regardless if it’s to make a baby or just for pleasure.
‘Keeping half the months with no contact, and never sharing a bed, makes the relationship more intimate.
‘When you haven’t been able to touch for two weeks, it makes everything so much more passionate and spicy when you do.’
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