A woman who was raised in an incestuous polygamy cult has opened up about their strict dating and marriage rules as she revealed she wed her own cousin at 18 years old.

Shanell Snow Derieux, from Utah, was born into The Order — a religious cult also known as the Kingston Clan that branched off from the mainstream Mormon church when they stopped practising polygamy and is renowned for its incestuous relationships. Opening up about her family during an appearance on Cults to Consciousness, Shanell, who estimates she has up to 200 siblings, revealed her dad, Daniel, had 14 wives and four of them were his half-sisters.

She also revealed the incestuous relationships are multi-generational. "One of Daniel's wives, who's his sister, her oldest daughter is married to a different one of Daniel's sons, so it's not just last generation they're doing it, it's this generation too even from offspring that came from incestual marriages," she said.

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Due to the risks associated with having children through incest, Shanell revealed the cult started testing members' blood before they got married to ensure the couples were "compatible", even if related. Explaining why marrying family members is so popular in the cult, she added: "They believe that they are direct descendants from Jesus Christ and that's why they want to keep the blood pure."

When it comes to relationships, boys and girls in the cult have to follow strict rules, titled The Order Standards for Young Men, Young Women Conduct. The rules ban both sex and kissing before your wedding day and state members must "cherish virtue above life itself".

There is also a complete ban on dating, speaking on the phone or sending letters to the opposite sex and when it comes to attending dances boys and girls are ordered to dance no more than two times in a row with the same person unless married. Members of The Order have special bank accounts controlled by the cult and another rule states they must have $20,000 in savings by the time they're married.

Shanell was also warned by The Order that "casual touching", including a hand squeeze, hug around the shoulders or waist, or touch of the hand or arm, was only for married couples and only handshakes in a group setting are allowed. If they broke any of the rules, they were warned of a list of "curses" that would happen to them, including infertility, death and "pain and suffering that make you wish you were dead".

When it came to choosing her own husband, Shanell revealed her family started pressuring her to make a list of her top choices when she was just 10 years old. While she never considered any of her brothers, Shanell admitted she initially had "an issue with the cousins thing" but noted, "everybody was marrying cousins so then it was just super normal."

She even recalled having "kid crushes" on her first cousins because that was "the norm". By the time she was 16 many of Shanell's younger siblings had already married and after facing mounting pressure she finally wed one of her first cousins when she was 18.

While she felt forced to marry, Shanell stressed she ultimately picked her cousin. She explained: "A lot of people like to say that I was forced to marry my ex and that's only somewhat true, I say I didn't choose to get married, I was pushed to get married, but I was able to choose who I married."

But just a few months into their marriage, Shanell revealed her husband became physically, mentally and sexually abusive. On one occasion, she recalled how she was left particularly terrified when he choked her after she told him she thought it was "really gross" that they were cousins.

Eventually, Shanell decided to leave her husband and he was arrested for domestic abuse. Despite what happened to her, Shanell was told that if she left her husband she would have to leave The Order too, because the cult doesn't support divorce.

While staying with an aunt and uncle who had already left, Shanell realised she couldn't go back and eventually made the decision to leave too. After leaving the cult, Shanell went on to re-marry and have a daughter.

But she revealed it hasn't been an easy journey. "It's really difficult losing the people you've loved for so many years and who seem to have loved you simply because you're making the choice to leave abuse," she said.

If you have been affected by issues of domestic violence or coercive control you can call Refuge's 24-Hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline for free. The number is 0808 2000 247

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