What do you talk about on first dates? The options are plenty, but sometimes it’s just hard to remember everything.

You want to ask insightful questions that make you seem inquisitive, not prying. You also want open questions that spark conversation, which could involve trying the famed 36 questions to make you fall in love.

But that’s a lot of questions to remember (and you don’t want to keep pulling out your phone to check either).

So, this relationship coach has just one go-to topic you should always approach: dreams.

Karla Elia, from San Diego, is a certified relationship coach who helps women find a partner, having found and married her own match, Dustyn Elia, in just six months.

She explained that talking about your dreams shows your hopes for the future without relying too much on the past. After all, no one wants to start a new relationship by covering old ground.

Karla, who often shares tips on her TikTok, recently posted this advice onYouTube and Shera, a digital platform dedicated to empowering women.

The 24-year-old added that knowing your relationship needs before the date is vital, as well as paying attention to both the red and green flags that crop up.

She recommends avoiding men who are ‘sweet talkers’, men who speak about their past continuously, and men who try to look through your phone – indicating trust issues.

On the one thing you should focus on when first meeting up with a date, Karla told viewers: ‘Don’t talk about your past – talk about your dreams.

‘That is the one thing you should always speak about on first dates. Talk about what you want to do for yourself in your life.’

Speaking about how she and husband Dustyn’s first meet-ups went, she said they spoke about dreams, what they wanted from life, having a family, where they’d like to live, and the businesses they’d like to build going forward.

‘I knew what I wanted for myself… that I wanted to go into a relationship, date for a little bit and then get married,’ Karla continued.

‘I knew that the next man that I was going to date was going to be the one for me.

‘For a lot of people it sounds very dramatic, very rushed – but I knew exactly what I was looking for.’

Karla and her husband Dustyn met on Bumble and courted for two months before making things official. Six months later, in May 2022, they were married.

The relationship coach now uses her tried and tested methods to help others narrow their search.

Karla advises sticking to the ‘list of threes’ when it comes to dating, such as your non-negotiables, personality traits your ideal person would have, and lastly, physical aspects you want them to have.

She said: ‘These are all things that you need that are essentials for you to be able to find this man attractive.

‘That is why I created this list of threes – it is very reasonable and not unattainable.

‘When you step into reality you realise that there are good men out there but the reason why you can’t find them is because you don’t know what you want. So when you create this list of threes, it gives you a guide.

‘The list of threes are your standards and when you go out to dates, when you meet different men, you won’t be swayed to give someone your time if they’re not meeting your expectations.’

Will you be giving them a go?

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