Sex with my girlfriend has become more of a chore than a fun activity – The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: SEX with my girlfriend has become more of a chore than a fun activity.

We’re only 22, so surely we should be having a better time in bed than this?

We have been together for two years.

I want to spend my life with this girl and I do adore her, but our sex life has become repetitive and boring. We always follow the same routine and it only lasts a few minutes as it feels so dull.

I’m always the one to initiate sex. When I question why our sex life has got into this state or why she never starts it, it normally ends with my girlfriend crying and making me feel like a really awful person.

I want to make our sex life fun again but, each time I try to solve our problems and talk it through, it ends in me feeling like the bad guy.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I suspect the problem has been that you are tending towards goal-oriented sex rather than exploring intimacy and discovering different ways to give one another pleasure and satisfaction, maybe especially for your girlfriend.

Ban intercourse for a month or so. Get into giving one another an all-over massage leading to sex play.

Find out the different ways you can both enjoy orgasm. Tell each other what feels especially good and what you’re learning.

My e-leaflet Sex-play Therapy explains this approach in more detail.

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