Mother sparks debate over charging adult children rent to live at home instead of helping them save for a deposit – but some claim letting them stay for free just teaches them to ‘sponge off others’

•  A woman sparked a debate on asking why people charge their children ‘rent’ 
• The unnamed woman took to parenting forum Mumsnet to ask the question 
• Saying she doesn’t ‘understand’ why parents wouldn’t rather help their children
•  Some claimed they didn’t want to raise their children to ‘sponge’ off others

A woman sparked a debate asking why people charge their children ‘rent’ to live at their own home.

Taking to the British parenting forum Mumsnet, the mother revealed she doesn’t ‘understand’ why parents wouldn’t rather help their children save so they could move out sooner.

She added she ‘understands’ people charging their children rent if they are on a ‘lower income.’ 

While some agreed with her, saying they would never charge their kids to stay at home, others said they didn’t want to raise their children to ‘sponge’ off others.

A woman sparked a debate asking why people charge their children ‘rent’ to live at their own home. Taking to parenting forum Mumsnet revealed she doesn’t ‘understand’ why parents wouldn’t rather help their children save so they could move out sooner

Explaining her position, the woman wrote: ‘I genuinely don’t understand the concept of charging your children ‘rent’ to live in their own home. 

‘Wouldn’t you rather help them by allowing them to save as much money as possible (especially in this current economy) instead of taking money from them which may reduce the amount that they can save each month, resulting in it taking them a bit longer to move out?

She explained: ‘I bought my own property on my own aged 25 and would have never been able to achieve this if I wasn’t allowed to stay at home rent free and save as much of my salary as I could.

‘Can I just add, I contributed to the household in other ways e.g cooking for the family weekly, cleaning etc.

The woman added she ‘understands’ people charging their children rent if they are on a ‘lower income’

‘I totally understand charging your children rent if you are on a lower income and genuinely need the money, but if this is not the case for you, why do you charge your children rent?’

Some agreed with the poster saying when they grew up their parents ‘wouldn’t except money.’

One wrote: ‘I’m similar to you. My father wouldn’t accept rent, he said save it for a deposit. I guess some families need the rent though.

‘We own a house now and without my saving over the years it would not have been possible to have put down a big deposit. Hopefully we can do the same for our daughter.’

Another person wrote: ‘I also wouldn’t charge my daughter rent and would just request she puts an amount into a savings account, I’d feel privileged to be able to help her and see being a parent as a life long responsibility not one that ends at 18.

While some agreed with her, saying they would never charge their kids to stay at home, others said they didn’t want to raise their children to ‘sponge’ off others

‘However on saying that I understand if people really need the money and have no other option then they simply have to.’

While someone else said: ‘I don’t understand it either. I’m Asian and in our culture parents usually help children to give deposit or even first home to their child. 

‘I’m blessed myself my parents help me with deposit for my first home. If the circumstances different . 

‘If the parents doesn’t have any money and hard to take children back home surely the children can helps with the bills or food or etc. not by charge them rent money but just chipping in. But then again i don’t understand its just my opinion.’

While many highlighted that young adults could learn something from chipping in, saying it’s valuable to teach them the ‘importance of paying their own way.’

While many highlighted that young adults could learn something from chipping in, saying it’s valuable to teach them the ‘importance of paying their own way’

One person said: ‘Not at that stage yet but my DC will definitely pay “digs” if they stay at home while earning from a job. Why? 

‘Because they need to learn that life costs money and bills/rent need to be paid first before fun!

‘I’ve seen one too many over indulged spoilt young adults assume that they deserve to get through life Scott-free and someone else will always pick up the tab. Nope.’

While another wrote: ‘I charged my adult daughter rent when she lived here as she is an adult and adults pay their way. I didn’t raise her to sponge off people, especially not her parents.’

A third person said:’ If they are working and still living at home then they should start contributing to bills and rent. I had to.

‘We are not well off and I don’t come from a well off family but either way I would still make them pay something towards the household bills.’

Some people said parents ‘charge rent’ to save the money for their children and they eventually give it back when they move out. 

One person said: ‘My auntie did a nice thing for her children. She did charge them for living at home, but she saved up all the money they’d paid her, put it into an account for them and then gave it all back to them when they got married or moved into their own place.’

Some people said parents ‘charge rent’ to save the money for their children and they eventually give it back when they move out

Another wrote: ‘I charge my son a nominal amount towards electricity and food. He has still managed to save over £8k in less than a year. 

‘When he buys his house I will give him half his deposit which he knows will happen. I have done it so he understands the cost of food and utilities. 

‘I get him to go food shopping and reimburse cost occasionally too so he sees prices with his own eyes when he is walking around store. 

‘As he is youngest I could easily afford not to charge him anything but when I had 3 at home I had to charge his sister who is eldest child, so think it would be unfair on her not to charge siblings. ‘

While someone else said: ‘I’ll be charging my daughter £20 digs a week, it’ll go into a savings account for when she’s ready to leave home. That was the norm when I was a teenager (though my own mum never did that with me!)’

Many admitted it also depends on the households financial circumstances as many families might ‘need’ the money.

Many admitted it also depends on the households financial circumstances as many families might ‘need’ the money

One person wrote: ‘Our son has moved back after university, he earns more than me and is more than happy to help with the extra expense it’s costing us to have one more adult in the house. Seriously, how can people not understand we need his help to keep the house running – it’s lovely having him back but it also costs more! Are people so stupid not to realise we, and many others, cannot afford to keep another adult and a 17 year old?’

Another said: ‘My daughter has moved back temporarily and I do have to charge her rent. I wish I didn’t have to.

‘I’ve been a single parent for most of their lives, my career has taken a hit, but I’m now on a very average wage. I charge her as little as possible.

‘I’m sure it doesn’t take much imagination to work out why people charge rent.’

While someone else wrote: ‘I am a single parent and now ds is working soon child benefit will stop plus his dad’s maintenance plus child tax credit.

‘I will ‘only’ charge £250 a month for food and bills but it is needed and still a fraction of what I used to receive.

‘Is it so hard to understand this?? Ds will still have plenty ability to save the rest.’

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