SHE’S the queen of British television, but Esther Rantzen’s life off camera has been a roller-coaster of triumphs and tribulations.
The brave 83-year-old is currently undergoing treatment for stage four lung cancer and today revealed she has joined assisted dying clinic Dignitas.
Speaking on Radio 4's The Today Podcast, Dame Esther said her decision was driven in part by her wish that her family's "last memories" of her are not painful.
Esther was forced to say a heartbreaking goodbye to her husband Desmond Wilcox in September 2000, when he passed away from heart disease aged 69.
The couple were together for 30 years, and Esther told Piers Morgan’s Life Stories she would give up a decade of her life to spend just ten more minutes by his side.
She told how they were incredibly close and would talk on the phone "perhaps eight or 10 times a day all our lives together".
READ MORE ON ESTHER RANTZEN
'GONE ON TOO LONG'
Diana Rigg's dying plea has chilling echoes of Esther Rantzen’s fight
CANCER AGONY
I'd ground her plane to Dignitas but it's her choice, Esther's daughter says
Esther's getting together with Desmond was controversial.
At the time he was head of the general features department where she worked at the BBC, and married to her best friend and colleague Patsy Wilcox, with whom he shared three children.
They embarked on eight year affair, which Esther – who at the time was a reporter on the consumer programme Braden's Week – later admitted she "deeply regrets" for the hurt it caused Desmond's family.
Discussing their affair on Piers Morgan’s Life Stories, Esther said: “It was disastrous really, from the point of view of Patsy and her three children.
Most read in TV
‘DOESN’T LOOK GOOD’
Kate Garraway’s husband Derek isn’t in a ‘good way’, her co-star says
GO WITH DIGNITY
TV legend Esther Rantzen, 83, may end life at Dignitas after cancer battle
PETE’S SAKE
Pete Wicks breaks silence on ‘bedding I’m A Celebrity wives’ after boozy nights
STRICTLY LOVE
Strictly’s Ellie Leach finally breaks silence on ‘romance’ with Vito Coppola
7
7“It was disastrous and if I could have not fallen in love with Desmond, and I tried not to, and we both tried not to.
“In those eight years we tried to separate and we tried not to get together, but the fact was that he dazzled me when we first met… when I say I deeply regret what happened, I cannot regret the marriage that we had together and the family we had together because we adored each other."
After their affair was exposed, Desmond’s position became unattainable at the BBC and he resigned.
It was disastrous and if I could have not fallen in love with Desmond and I tried not to, and we both tried not to
Meanwhile Patsy refused to divorce her husband, but eventually reneged when Esther fell pregnant with her first child Emily, now known as Miriam, 45.
Esther and Desmond married in December 1977 and went on to have two more children – Rebecca, now 43, and Joshua, 42.
In her autobiography, Esther wrote that Patsy "remained angry and bitter until the day she died" of cancer in November 1999, and "took great satisfaction in loathing me to the end".
She also claimed Desmond and Patsy had not been in love, and that his ex's identity had "depended on being married".
Patsy's children were furious, with her daughter Cassandra Wilcox calling it a "malicious attack on a woman who can no longer defend herself".
Defending her autobiography, Esther said she "didn't want to distress" her stepchildren.
Cassandra went on to make a string of shocking claims, accusing Esther of "stealing" Desmond from her mother, redecorating the Wilcox family home "from floor to ceiling in chintz and Tiffany lamps" and abandoning him on his deathbed.
A source close to Esther rubbished the claims, adding: “Esther left Desmond's side briefly to fetch a Jewish prayer book and she is terribly keen to set the record straight over that. But she was very definitely with Desmond when he died.”
In 2013, Esther recalled the moment she said goodbye to her husband, and revealed she'll take his final words with her to the grave.
“Desmond’s last words to me were, ''I adore you''. I was sitting on his deathbed," she told Piers Morgan during an interview.
"I said to my son last night, ''If God gave me the choice between ten more years of life and ten more minutes with Desi, I would pick those ten minutes.''
Devastating health battle
Esther and Desmond faced heartache when their eldest daughter became seriously ill aged 14 with myalgic encephalomyelitis, known as ME.
“It struck her down when she was 14, after an attack of glandular fever,” she told the Daily Mail.
“She never fully recovered from the illness and we watched helplessly as she struggled with chronic fatigue which, like a sticky web, slowly paralysed her.
“In the end she was imprisoned – bed-bound, lying in a darkened room, unable to read, write or even to speak.
If God gave me the choice between ten more years of life and ten more minutes with Desi, I would pick those ten minutes
“At that point she went to hospital, where they pushed her by baby-steps, one word at a time, one more minute of light each day, until she progressed into a wheelchair, and then on to her feet.
“The great joy of my life was that her father, my husband Desmond Wilcox, saw her walking again before he died.”
It was Emily’s illness which led Esther’s passionate advocacy for child welfare and charitable endeavours.
She founded ChildLine in 1986, a lifeline for children in distress, and her dedication earned her a damehood in 2015.
Desmond was not Esther's first affair – in 1966, aged 26, she had a fling with Scottish politician Nicholas Fairbairn, though she claimed to be unaware he was married.
"He wore idiosyncratic suits and waistcoats, and I fell in love with him," she said.
"I didn't realise he was married until far, far too late."
Source: Read Full Article