My Mum, Your Dad was a smash hit on ITV this autumn but final star Natalie Russell revealed prior to her stint on the show that she has had a very troubled past.

The 44 year old from Bournemouth spoke openly and honestly during a vulnerable chat on podcast series Little Girls Aren't Taught This about her childhood trauma, substance abuse issues, prison time and experiences in both rehab and on a psych hospital ward.

In Natalie's episode Deep Healing Using The Power of Self Love with Natalie Russell, the reality star, who is also a qualified self-esteem and relationship coach, opened up about her self-harm and suicidal thoughts.

Reflecting on hard times when relationship trauma would trigger her, she said emotionally: "My self-harm would kick in when I was trying to control someone and how they were treating me.

"It was triggering such a deep emotional response and instability in me. I was desperate for them to see the impact they were having on me and I would self-harm or threaten suicide or punch myself in the face. I'd go in the corner and rock backwards and forwards like a child, trying to get that hold, that love, that need, met."

Natalie found a deep connection with Paul Edwards on My Mum, Your Dad and although the couple have since split, it's clear from her podcast chat that she knows when it's time to cut things off.

She added that she's "comfortable being on her own" and that people often tell her she needs to "lower her standards" but that she "would never in a million years."

Naturally she misses some things in a relationship though. "I miss intimacy sometimes and I would love someone to have my back all the time and live life with me but I'd rather do life on my own than ever enter a relationship that isn't aligned with my needs, morals and values.

Scarred from years of infidelity, the brunette admitted that every relationship she has ever been in resulted in cheating, except one when she was just 17. She spoke about "accepting crumbs" when she was "starving of love" and even went as far as to sadly say that she "deeply felt" she wasn't good enough.

Natalie admitted early in the podcast that her childhood was full of trauma. She detailed sexual abuse in her teenage years, rape, coming from a broken home and running away. She also told listeners about how she ended up abusing substances, leading to prison five times, psychiatric hospital admission and suicide attempts.

Before entering the ITV show house, Natalie described herself as "adventurous, deep and outgoing" and admitted in her podcast episode that part of her healing journey was understanding that she also "has toxic traits, too."

Natalie's son, Kaliel applied for his mum to be on the show, describing her as "confident, kind, caring, thoughtful and determined" but he did warn her not "do anything embarrassing!"

She lived up to his wishes, going on to win the show with other couples, Sharon Benson and Elliot Davidson and Roger Hawes and Janey Smith.

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