My 50-year-old husband suddenly wants kids after years of sitting on the fence – I’m 40 and worried trying to get pregnant will bring sadness and stress

• A woman revealed her husband, 50, suddenly decided he wants to start a family
• READ MORE: Men so desperate to be parents they have a baby with a stranger

A woman has been left torn after her husband has suddenly decided he wants to start a family at the age of 50.  

The woman took to the British parenting platform Mumsnet to explain she’s been with her husband for 15 years and in the past they ‘were both very on the fence’ about kids. 

The 40-year-old admitted she is now worried that her husband is too old to be a father and she will have complications trying to conceive. 

‘I’m worried if we started down this path, it would just bring sadness and stress. I definitely wouldn’t consider IVF. How would you react? Looking for any advice!’ she said. 

Many rushed to the comments with mixed views as some agreed the ‘ship has sailed’, while other thought they should go for it. 

A woman revealed onn Mumsnet that her husband has suddenly decided he wants to start a family at 50-years-old (stock image) 

Outlining the situation the wife explained: ‘We’ve been together for 15 years, we are 50 and 40 now.

‘Very early on we discussed whether we wanted children. We were both very on the fence and neither of us ever made it a priority. We did agree that if one of us really wanted to try, then we would.

‘We are very lucky, very in love still and we’ve travelled lots, live in a great house, life is full of hobbies and friends. 

‘Financially secure, I had a large inheritance which meant I could give up work but I volunteer five days week over two roles I find very rewarding. Husband choses to work four days a week but doesn’t need to, loves his job. Very little stress in our lives.

‘He turned 50 last month and has said he’d really like us to try for a family. I admit I was really shocked, as I’d thought this question had passed us by with our ages – and in all honesty, I think he’s too old.

‘The increased risks of the baby not being healthy worry me, as well as his energy levels. He’s an exceptionally young 50, very fit, but age does catch up with us all! 60 seems so old to have a 10-year-old child.

‘And with my age that brings risks too, and the likelihood of not even being able to get pregnant is obviously high.’ 

The 40-year-old admitted she is now worried that her husband is too old to be a father and she will have complications trying to conceive

Many rushed to the comments with mixed views as some said ‘ship has sailed’ while other thought they should go for it

One person wrote: ‘You need to have a heart to heart and tell him the ship has sailed due to both your ages. I think turning 50 has hit him and that’s what needs discussing.’

Another said: ‘It would be a hard no from me. I think even 40 is too old to actively plan a child. 50 is madness to actively plan a child.

‘That being said, if I got pregnant at 40, then I would be having a baby, however I would in no way plan for it to happen.

‘Our existing kids will be 19 and 14 when I hit 40, so would be a huge age gap. Has he said what has prompted his change of heart?’

While another agreed: ‘The biological clock is very strange. I wouldn’t at this age though. Especially as you have a wonderful life already.’ 

A fourth agreed saying: ‘I know a lot of mums who had babies at 40 but the difference is they started mid 30s and it was number 2 or 3, plus their partners are the same age.

‘I think 50 is too old, sorry. Plus your lifestyle has been set up around having no children. Very different situation.’

However, others said they should go for it because parents are getting older these days anyway.

One person said: ‘I read somewhere that women in their 40s make up about 20% of all pregnancies, that it’s the highest rising group and more do than teenagers now. 

‘At 36 with my 2nd I was the youngest mum in my antenatal group so I do think it’s really quite common/perfectly normal.

While others said they should go for it as parents are getting older these days anyway

‘Also, there are no guarantees in life. I lost family members in their 20s. As long as you are doing it for the right reasons and not just because you think you should.’

Another said: ‘Not that unusual for women to have a baby in their 40s now days, but you have to want to have one, not just him. Our daughter came along when I was 41. She’s off to Uni this September.’

While another wrote: ‘We did it at exactly those ages, and older for no. two. It has been amazing and I believe given us more energy, hope, life, passion etc. Number one just off to uni and I will miss them so much. 

‘Also despite pushing 60 I feel no different to when I was 30. Perhaps it is all very individual. I do have a fairly stress-free job and my partner even lower stress.’ 

A fourth said: ‘I had my daughter at 42. It’s doable but you both need to want it.’ 

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