Written by The Honest Boss

When workplace grievances aren’t resolved, sometimes leaving a job is the only option that remains. But should you let your boss know you’re looking elsewhere? The Honest Boss dishes out her advice on the matter… 

“I have been unhappy at work for the past six months or so, and my boss, whom I’m close to, knows this and has tried to find solutions – but she’s frustrated with our workload and lack of support from higher-ups too. At our last one-to-one, I told her I’m done and have started looking for other jobs, but now I’m spiralling that I shouldn’t have said that. It could take me a while to get something else lined up, and what if this means I’m sidelined in the meantime? What should I do?”

Claire, 30

Your relationship with your boss sounds very positive to me. She is aware of your frustrations and has worked hard on your behalf to find solutions. You have now played your final trump card by admitting that you’ve reached your endgame. While threatening to quit might not always be wise, there is nothing actually wrong with doing it. It’s a pretty normal reaction to your difficult situation, and it’s too late to take it back. Even if you tried to deny it, your boss knows the problems that got you into this position have not been resolved.

Your best move from now on is to keep schtum. It’s important to understand your boss is in a difficult position as she will feel some loyalty to her own managers as well as the pressure to let them know that you’re on the verge of leaving. Even if she chooses that path of transparency, you have nothing to fear. You’ve been completely straight with her up to now, and she will have appreciated your honesty as well as your trust in her. If she is as frustrated as you say she is with upper management, then her own patience will be rather stretched. Once you continue to do what is expected of you, she will have no cause to challenge you. 

However, banging on repeatedly to her about leaving for another job may result in tipping her over the edge, and your fears about being sidelined could come to pass. It’s very tough for her to listen to a repetitive list of complaints that she has tried her best to fix. If you continue to bombard her with your grievances, you will effectively be reminding her about how powerless she is in this situation.

On a positive note, by admitting that you’re looking for another job, you are partly letting your boss off the hook for being responsible for your unhappiness. You are, in effect, demonstrating that you’re taking control of your own destiny and no longer relying on her for solutions. Part of her will be disappointed that she has not been able to resolve the issues and you will be a stark reminder to her about how ineffectual she has been up to now. This is why it’s best for you to start playing it a bit cool. 

I would recommend that you work hard, keep your head down, and always retain a totally professional manner while simultaneously starting your job search. If you don’t flaunt job applications in your boss’s face, she may even wonder if you really meant what you said. By not repeating your intention to leave, she may conclude that you were merely spouting off in the heat of the moment.

If you maintain this kind of professional appearance at all times, you should have nothing to fear about being sidelined. Yes, your boss may be wondering if your sudden tight-lipped attitude is a sign that you’re up to something, but realistically she has enough on her plate with all of the problems you’ve highlighted, and she will be grateful that you appear to have accepted the status quo and stopped complaining about everything.

Then it’s important to start your job hunting with complete discretion. Don’t get caught out staring at job adverts on your work screen, updating your CV or being overheard talking to recruiters on the phone. You’re doing nothing wrong by aiming to leave a bad situation, but it’s best not to rub your boss’s face in it. Don’t forget, you’ll need her to maintain her positive view of you if a future employer seeks a reference from her.

You have nothing to lose by continuing as I suggest until something significant changes – when you either land a new job or the problems you’re currently experiencing are resolved. You don’t need to fret or spiral about what has happened up to now as you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. The challenge for you will be keeping up professional appearances while embarking on job hunting. You’ll be kept so busy working diligently, while simultaneously firing off job applications and preparing for interviews, that you won’t have time or energy to feel the same level of frustration as you do now. You might be surprised to discover that keeping your emotions under wraps for a while will help to dampen down your anxieties. Sometimes silence really is the best policy.

Image designed by Klawe Rzeczy

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